Reach and Reiki


Being diagnosed an Asshole

Saying “I’m sorry but...” isn’t an apology. If you fucked up, own it. You are wrong. Learn to be okay just being wrong. You don’t get to play the victim if you’re the one who caused hurt.
— Haley Meredith

Let’s face it. We’re all assholes sometimes. It’s inevitable; we’re human and we suck. So many physical things can encourage assholey behavior: hunger, fatigue, stress, hormones, or anxiety.

But what about the intangible causes of asshole-itis? Miscommunication, misinterpretation, misunderstanding. Or how about failure to consider the other argument (ego)? Or refusal to listen and actually HEAR another point of view (selfishness)? 

Sure, we can be driven by hanger, but we’re fueled by our humanness; ignorance.

And it’s okay to be an asshole. In fact, we have to be assholes repeatedly throughout our life. It’s how we learn. 

We learn humility. Suddenly we’re wrong and we have to accept that. Even if we’re not 100% apologetic. Being wrong means you fucked up and you are at fault. You have to fight for redemption. This is a shitty place to be in - living through action to prove your worth. But humility teaches us to be kind and considerate in the future. We learn to take pause and listen to OUR actions, to hear the words that come out of our OWN mouths, and to even better, tune into the words before they even leave our mind, filtering with empathy and patience.

Asshole states also teach us forgiveness. We learn to be forgiven by another. We start to understand what it means to still be worth something after causing destruction. We have concept of irrationality and start to realize that despite unfair attitude, we’re still worthy of being loved. We still deserve to be understood exactly as we are and forgiven. Further, we learn to forgive ourselves. This step is so important. Having the wherewithal to admit your shit, take ownership over it, AND take it for reflection. We’re granted a very graphic look at our biggest inadequacies and we have the glorious opportunity to offer release. If we practice retribution and engage in active growth, guilt serves no purpose. Forgiveness.

Most importantly, in my opinion, is the break we take from “reality.” We’re forced to reevaluate the way we live, the people we surround ourselves with, and the activities we participate in. Pulling in our physical factors and analyzing the failure to communicate or relate, we are gifted the chance to take stock and ensure we are living the way we SHOULD be. Should being the way WE feel is best for US alone. Notice if you were driven by peer pressure, job performance, social behaviors, or if your head got a little too big for your body. Being an asshole inspires a decidedly long meditation and period of introspection. 

Am I a good person? 

If you find yourself asking probably are a good person. You may misbehave, mistreat others, and demand narcissism, but you don’t truly want to. And if you ask yourself this question, know that you have every opportunity to change. You are in total control over your heart and your head. You don’t have to resort to anger. You don’t have to respond defensively. You don’t have to accuse or argue. YOU CAN BREATHE WITH PEACE. You can breathe with empathy and love. You can support those around you WHILE supporting you very needs and truest soul. 

Don’t settle for being an asshole. Work through it and find out what’s happening beneath the surface. Explore your emotions, your physical body, your mental state, your limitations, your flaws, your love, your compassion, your guilt, your hope. Allow yourself to expand beyond today and open up to tomorrow’s potential. 

And say you’re sorry!

Sending healing always!